I had to renegotiate my lease for my studio space last week. It made me feel very tense as I punished myself with my unworthiness. I had to go through the whole litany of my mind, making me feel bad for not being as successful as I think, I should be! What does this even mean, mind? It will never be enough for you. I have chosen a very difficult career, maybe, I have to face that there won't be a payoff anytime soon.
I am having a small show of nine drawings in a space on Indian Hill Blvd in Claremont. I framed the pieces ,at the normal sort of cost for this activity, which caused another round of anxiety. Great now the doubting Thomas of my mind ,has more festering worries to latch onto.
Meanwhile I go into my studio, not sure if it was the fact that my lease is now settled for the next two years, but I had a very productive time and finished four small drawings. The "Warrior Series", a quite surprising combination of colours and larger than normal collage element. You can see the result of my efforts in the image below.